She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize