that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
nutella sex= disaster
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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