you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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