Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
