If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize