dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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