Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
