hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
