I wish I could punch you in the face.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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