He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
