Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
