Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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