I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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