Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize