I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
