Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize