I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
