Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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