so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Be still, my beating vagina.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
