and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
