He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
