Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
