Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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