Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize