YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the day after is always just damage control
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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