we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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