we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
