they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
