I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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