Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i drank out of a bidet.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
