There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
