I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize