She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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