Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
