Don't you send me to vm
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
