I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I had to cum in my sink.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
