in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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