She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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