Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
