could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You need Xanax blowdarts
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
