Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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