Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
