i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
