can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
