PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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