Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
