so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
