If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
