I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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