Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
