Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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