he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Two words: blizzard sex
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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