Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
