so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
