you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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