Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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