I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
