Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize