I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
