I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
