I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
