thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
