i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
