so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
