Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We are all done wearing pants today
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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