so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
