Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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